Body-language and nonverbal communication

Tag "contact"












Function of the eyes (an embodyed story -part 8 -)

Eyes are the key:

  • The key in first sight contact
  • The key as it is a visual contact
  • The key which helps to distinguish: YOU and ME
  • The key which proofs that…………….
Read More

Hesitating to put a direct personal question

If I’m interested in a person I ask him, put questions or show my interest to get to know more about this or that.

Chinese often hesitate to address me or others with a personal, direct question just like: “Oh, can you tell me more about your life or your children and so on”. This also can happen if you know each other better.

This does not mean that the Chinese isn’t interested, not at all! He is interested but tries to avoid putting the other into public. If he would put this direct personal question the other one either could feel himself obliged to show up with an answer or if he doesn’t want to do it to show up (in a personal way as a personal expression) he has to dissociate himself.

On the other hand I experience myself putting questions to a Chinese and being accepted by him. The Chinese answer, and I’m glad about the answer, but I can’t really distinguish if it is a personal answer which they want to give or if it is good behavior or an outcome from the hierarchy of our relationship.

But to be honest, it is quite important for me to know about this difference.

Sometimes I wonder if a Chinese puts himself the same question as I do.

Read More











Woman flirting with her hair

Here is one more little information about I will call it „hair-gestures“ of women. It is quite, as probably most of you will know, important for the relationship between men and women. 😉

Here are four quite important gestures which are familiar to people in the western hemisphere:

  • A woman softly touches her hair and throws it back. This means “Hello, I want and need your awareness”
  • A woman is talking to you and puts her hair behind her ear. She shows that she feels very good and familiar in this situation, together with you.
  • If a woman tears her hair (out) and…………….
Read More








Men and women…………

There is an old saying in China, 男女授受不亲(nán nǚ shòu shòu bù qīn), which means “men and women should maintain a proper distance from each other”.

Just have a look how it works today. 🙂

Read More

The body in psychotherapy 2 (contact and communication)

No more support

Read More









Stranger – Danger or:

 (N)ever talk to a stranger

I of course agree to the six rules for children in order to prevent any kind of bad experience, so that they can keep their boundaries.

But to be honest, I want to talk about meeting strangers in the life as youth and adult.

Globalization is based on meeting strangers, strange people, strange cultures, strange behavior. So, to survive or ……….

Read More


Chinese manager really under stress (video) – managers` nonverbal behavior patterns on stage – 5

under stressThis Chinese manager is asked again for the third time, to give a certain answer. He knows how the panel functions and yet though there is a good simultaneous translation he utters towards the moderator to repeat the question. He does this for three times though the question was very clearly expressed. And then suddenly he started answering, though the moderator did not repeat the question again. It seemed that the Chinese manager had to get accustomed to the stress situation, being asked. ( though he knew that he was asked )

And he does not only utter with words but also with his body-language. He looks …………………

Read More

Smiling also can exclude….

Some days ago I told you about having met three Chinese picking nettles. It was an interesting and charming encounter, though we did not understand their language. And they had problems to understand us. On the way home my wife and I talked about this experience whereas I remembered some other experience.

As usual, when going out for shopping on Saturday, I meet some Chinese groups near our university. Some Chinese students, male and female, stand together, talking, laughing and being busy shopping. They cling together and seem to be very happy, as happy as they seem to be on all those photos which can be seen on facebook or some other social media posting.

Well, remember the kind of friends they feel connected to on facebook for example. It´s almost Chinese only.  For me it seems as if everybody knows each other. Every Chinese knows all other Chinese. ;-)……………………………..

Read More