Body-language and nonverbal communication

Hesitating to put a direct personal question

Hesitating to put a direct personal question

If I’m interested in a person I ask him, put questions or show my interest to get to know more about this or that.

Chinese often hesitate to address me or others with a personal, direct question just like: “Oh, can you tell me more about your life or your children and so on”. This also can happen if you know each other better.

This does not mean that the Chinese isn’t interested, not at all! He is interested but tries to avoid putting the other into public. If he would put this direct personal question the other one either could feel himself obliged to show up with an answer or if he doesn’t want to do it to show up (in a personal way as a personal expression) he has to dissociate himself.

On the other hand I experience myself putting questions to a Chinese and being accepted by him. The Chinese answer, and I’m glad about the answer, but I can’t really distinguish if it is a personal answer which they want to give or if it is good behavior or an outcome from the hierarchy of our relationship.

But to be honest, it is quite important for me to know about this difference.

Sometimes I wonder if a Chinese puts himself the same question as I do.

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