Body-language and nonverbal communication

„Sex in the soul“ – what can your eyes reveale?










“Sex in the soul“ – what can your eyes reveale?

Of course you remember when the pupil widens or closes. Of course you know about the importance of this process in the eyes. But do you know why this happens? Do you know what it means?

About fifty or sixty years ago scientist believed that the process of widening or closing notes your sexual orientation. Gero from the Cornell University was convinced about the proof in his study on such eyes`reaction. He was convinced that the widening of the pupil shows if one is heterosexual or homosexual or …………..bisexual orientated.

Newest studies disprove Gero’s results completely. Nowadays scientist and sexologists do no longer subdivide the sexual orientation in these three basics. Instead of this they talk about positioning a person in between the two dimensions “only attracted by men” and “only attracted by women”. Science, psychology and sexologists believe that man/woman is somewhere located between these two dimensions.

Of course we know that if somebody emotionally is touched by what he sees, his pupils widen or in contrast to that close down a little.

So to say this process mirrors the fact that one is emotionally touched or not touched. This process gives a deep insight into a mysterious emotional often unconscious space. This space so to say is then more open to someone else than to the person himself.

So there never was a really prove by observing this eye`s reaction. No prove for what kind of sexual orientation or attraction “en detail” there would be in the soul of this person

The pupil is a door to the soul. This is true. The process of the pupil`s reaction is some kind of mirror of the soul’s being attracted or being emotionally involved in whatever way. The pupil also embodies feeling of attraction on the relationship level. If you look into one´s face, into one´s eye, you can be aware of the other`s feeling of attraction to someone else or to you.

This is a fact you can never evade, having this feeling of (sexual and or emotional) attraction. If the observer really looks at your eyes he is aware of this, even if you by yourself are not aware of your own feeling.

This is a process which in a situation of severe excitement or relationship of abandonment or being imprisoned can be misused as torture. It can be misused for other people`s purpose.

And yet the eyes are the first sparkling moments which a little baby is aware of and can relate to. It is the mother`s eyes (mother as a real and symbolic mother) which the baby is aware of, to which the baby can address to and can develop warm, relaxing and joyful feelings. So to say mother`s eyes are the first kind of attraction to the world which the baby can realize. By that the baby learns how to get familiar with attraction at all. Familiar with the fact that attraction is part of life.

Babies will in contrast to that feel completely lost in the world if mother refuses this eye contact.

So to say, the mother’s eyes are a basic contact for the baby to the world. To be aware of the mother’s eyes the baby experiences more focused awareness, the feeling of being seen by another (loving) person. It will feel more aliveness and then will enjoy live.


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